My Thoughts on Japan

Two years later, I return to Bangkok, bookending my MBA career. The difference is last time I stayed in an un-airconditioned hostel with a communal shower, and this time, I'm staying in the Okura with an infinity pool. Curiously enough, my income is still $0, though at least there is a paycheck in my near future. I decided not to join my companions on the palace tour, because Bangkok has not changed in two years and is still as hot and musty as a locker room in the middle of August. That idiom is courtesy of the fact that I finally started watching Friday Night Lights on the plane from Tokyo. I've avoided it for years because I assumed it would make me extremely homesick, and I'd cry the entire time.

I cried the entire time. But how could I not? The hopeful young love, the raw aggression on the field, the shattered dreams, the seeming weight of the world on a child's shoulder, boys and girls amidst the throws of adolescent passions, community, in all its ups and downs, pros and cons. Indeed, it beckoned sweet nostalgia but not heartache for home. Arguably insignificant because it’s just a TV show, but I like to think it shows I'm finally ready to let go of my long-held idea that I will settle in Ohio.*

It doesn't hurt that Seattle is surrounded by magnificent mountains, and after spending a couple days in the Japanese Alps, it’s confirmed that I’ve evolved over the decades to prefer mountains to beaches.

The Japanese Alps were only one of the many beauties of Japan, though. The delicious, if sometimes very raw and overly gelatinous, cuisine, the deep respect for a rich heritage, the ornate shrines and castles. It was a joy. As I feel with all my travels, my strength is not relaying the actual experience. No one wants to read about the hand-prepared sushi with the perfect ratio of wasabi, the creative cocktails, or the historical sites. My strength lies in random, insignificant observations. Let's start with the Japanese positives, in no particular order:

1. Toilets. I lied. This is definitely numero uno. The Japanese and I have a mutual respect for the bathroom experience. It is not transactional. It is relational, a time to be rejuvenated. You know my thoughts. The running water, the floor-length doors. I hadn't considered heated seats, but I'm okay with it. Full disclosure, I didn't use the bidet because I wasn't entirely positive it wasn't toilet water that would be sprayed. You may think this is ridiculous, but if anyone can manage to get toilet water sprayed on their bum, it would be me. My one suggestion is the country create a consistent flush button, because I spent about ten seconds in each stall finding the flush button, and another two seconds hoping I hadn't accidentally pressed the button that sprayed toilet water in my face.

2. Bonsai trees. I'm not really sure how you bonsai a tree, but I think more prestigious homes in the US should have them. I will certainly incorporate them onto my grounds.

3. Teal cranes. They're so pretty! A nice deviation from construction orange.

4. Escalator etiquette. Dear everyone at every airport. You stand to the left, pass on the right. You do not sway aimlessly on your step, making it impossible for anyone in a rush to advance. The Japanese understand this.

5. Timeliness. And apologies for being late. I'm not saying Americans aren't timely, because this American is extremely prompt. I'd like to see it more, though, and I'd also like to give a shout out to Air Nippon who, after a ten-hour delay which was an annoyingly ridiculous amount of time to be delayed, gave us 100 dollars cash to compensate for our loss of time.

6. International sports streaming. Upon returning to the states, I plan on acquiring an international VPN so I can stream live sporting events via Reddit and save on cable/NBATV/RedZone/MLBTV.

Baseball. This is a neutral category where I merely observe the difference between the sport in the two cultures. First, they have the equivalent of high school bands supporting the teams, making the energy throughout the game palpable. Second, and more interesting, the drinks are being served by cute young ladies carrying mini kegs on their back. It's definitely cultural bias, but something about old men screaming, "Get your peanuts!" with raspy voices makes me prefer the MLB tradition. As a possible point of improvement, I was informed the chili dogs had lettuce underneath the hot dog, causing the dog to not be contained in the bun, and leading to potential disaster. Better to put all condiments on top of the dog. And, really, no one needs lettuce at a baseball game.

I do, as always, have a couple minor suggestions. Some constructive feedback if you will:

1. Airlines - be on time. Or know the length of the maintenance window, because getting delayed at 2-hour increments beginning at 1 in the morning does not instill confidence.

2. Kimonos. Don't get me wrong. I love kimonos and wearing them around Kyoto fulfilled one of my childhood dreams. However, I take minor issue with the corset that sucks in everything you have and the belt that makes you look two inches thicker than you are. I understand the culture does not want to show off the figure, but if that is the case, then tie the corset a little looser, so I can breathe.

3. Trash cans. Finding a trash can was like finding buried treasure but without a map. And while having vending machines at every corner is a treat, one is then holding on to the remnants for hours, searching hopelessly in shops, on street corners, in the kitchen of restaurants, for the elusive trash can. Maybe there’s a trash ninja known only to the local Japanese, because the streets are shockingly clean.

4. Gelatinous delicacies. I’m sorry. It’s just weird, and I can't support it.

Now that I've told you my thoughts, I'm going to relay them to the President and Emperor**, respectively. Before that, though, I'm going to watch Game 5 of the Easter Conference finals for free.


* At least for now.
** In my mind, Japan is still led by the Emperor.

The DMV... My Saga Continues

Years ago, I lost my license. Reasons are unimportant. I went to the DMV - or BMV, depending on your state - to replace it. It was Cinco de Mayo. As my friend and I were waiting patiently, one of the tellers asked another, "Is Cinco de Mayo always on the fifth of May?" I turned to my friend: "And that is why the DMV is run so inefficiently."

There are two things any avid reader knows to be true. 1) I do not claim to be good at logistics and 2) The DMV is my mortal enemy. I'm currently sitting at LAX, where I just saw Lebron crush the dreams of the Raptors with a buzzer beater. GOAT - though neither here nor there. I am flying to Tokyo but realized two weeks ago I was supposed to fly to Osaka. So I booked a flight to Osaka. Then I realized I booked the flight from the wrong Tokyo airport. So I booked another flight. Then I realized I get in a day early. So I booked a hotel. I recognize attention to detail with my personal matters - not professional, any future employers reading this - can be lacking at times which is why my ultimate goal next to world takeover is life assistant.

My occasional lapses in thoroughness, however, pale in comparison to those of the DMV and our entire driving system in general. If a Presidential candidate promised to nationalize the DMV, I'd vote for him/her/it regardless of really any other stance. I'll tell you when the trouble began.

I moved to Michigan a month before my Virginia license plates expired, and in the chaos of transitioning, I neglected to renew my plates. Aside from that, Virginia, in its noble quest to be environmentally conscious, requires an e-check. I had two options: 1) drive to Virginia to get said echeck and renew my license plates 2) purchase new Michigan license plates which required me to present the elusive title of my car to the DMV or a third creative option: pitch it to myself as speed control because I didn't want to get pulled over and ticketed for speeding and expired plates. I opted for option 3.

Being a saintly friend, I offered to pick someone up from the airport. As I was waiting, a cop approached my vehicle and informed me that my license plates, were indeed, expired. After a patronizing lecture, he told me he was letting me off easy, gave me what I assumed to be a warning because of the previously quoted statement, and told me to keep the warning in case someone else pulled me over and fix it within ten days. I searched my archives, found the title, applied for registration, and purchased my plates like a responsible citizen. A nuisance, yes, but for a time, all was well between Navs and the DMV.

A month ago, I was once again innocently driving, abiding by the rules of the road, when a cop pulled me over. I was at a stop sign, and even I have difficulty breaking traffic laws at a complete standstill, so I was curious as to the reason. After asking for my license, the cop candidly asked: "Are you aware you are driving under a suspended license and there is a warrant out for your arrest?"

"No officer. Totally unaware."
"Do you remember getting a ticket at the airport last year?"
"Mmmm. I thought that was a warning because he said he was letting me off easy. Could we expand on letting me off easy? And there isn't a price on the ticket, so I didn't know I had to pay anything."
"Well, you did. And you didn't. And your license has been suspended for over a year. Do you have anything illegal in here? If I search your car will I find any drugs or guns?"
"I don't see why that's relevant, but no, you won't."

I'm portraying myself as poised. I was not. I cried a lot. The cop was gracious and didn't take me to jail, although if he had, I could have tried to get a dome mugshot (#domeshot) which would have been a good one for the 'chives. Because of my indiscretion, I had to go to court for driving under a suspended license with a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail. Great blog material, certainly, but also a hindrance on my upcoming start date.

As it played out, the justice system recognized I was not one of the sought-after miscreants, and the charge was reduced to a significantly overpriced parking ticket. Praise be. While this process was encouraging re:the justice system, I still hold the DMV is the most inefficiently run government program when you consider the number of people using it. I get states rights, all you Constitutionalists out there, but really? For instance:

I received a piece of mail stating I did not have a valid license. I tried calling the Secretary of State but literally automated messaged myself in a twenty minute circle in which I ended exactly where I had began. When I went to the DMV, the teller told me that I did have a license, and I didn't have to change it because I was a student, but the state was going to think I didn't have a license and continue sending me notices. How does this make sense? How is this efficient? How is the bettering the life of an American citizen? There are many points of dissension in this country, but can we please agree that this is a ridiculous ploy to generate cash flow under the guise of promoting responsible behavior?

I'm now trying to sell my vehicle, sweet Maleek. However, I realized I never was sent the new title, but merely had the application for the title of the vehicle. So it's sitting in my parents garage, and I never plan on owning a vehicle again. Unless the candidate for 2024 nationalizes the DMV.

What Grads Don't Talk About

I'm a recent graduate, folks. That's right, Nips Navs is a diploma holding MBA. Not technically - I'm just a candidate, but I'm 98% sure they're going to let me slide. My feed is full of wonderful sentiments from classmates - gratitude for people who have helped us get to where we are, nostalgia and sadness to leave the relationships we've built over the past two years, humility that we are associated with such a group of fine individuals, excitement for what the next stage holds, and of course, six week travel plans.

I echo these sentiments whole heartedly. But there are other sentiments, too.* Perhaps these apply only to me, because while others smoothly transition to the next stage of life, I still need my dad to give me a hug and tell me it's going to be okay. But whatever, maybe they apply to someone else, too.

Logistics. I will know I have succeeded when I have a life assistant to handle all of my personal logistics.** Scheduling the PODS - which, by the way, is a feat of engineering genius - turning off electricity, changing my mailing address, canceling my cable, returning the cable boxes, scheduling flights, shipping clothes to the friend I am going to stay with while looking for an apartment - another logistical nightmare. It's exhausting, and I'll be amazed if everything gets to Seattle in one piece.

Loneliness. It's such a weird, abrupt end. You have this month of intense social interaction with these amazing people, some who, realistically, you may never see again; then, you pack your car and drive away. Go home to people who you'll leave after a brief visit. Stay at my parents large home alone because they're on a trip. I haven't been home alone since high school. I feel like I should throw a rager and try to get away with it, but unfortunately, I no longer have friends in Chardon, or those friends have children, and their days of raging are a thing of the past.

Anyways, loneliness. As I'm making decisions about the next stage of my life - where I want to live, what gym I want to go to, what church I should go to, what activities I should become involved in, I'm making them for myself. This is extremely liberating, but it can also feel lonely. A friend called me out on it the other day. I told him I didn't want to do this alone, and he said, "Anna, I don't know why you think you're alone. Seriously. Why do you think that? Don't you know how many people have your back?" It can be easy to focus on what we don't have rather than what we do.

Anxiety. Honestly, I don't struggle with anxiety about work. After being out of the game for almost three years, I'm genuinely pumped to be thrown in the fire, because I know that's when I grow the most. And idle time clearly causes me to think too much. I don't even have anxiety about meeting people. I'm grateful I already know so many people there, and I have the utmost confidence in my ability to become involved. But if I think beyond the next six months or the next year, I get anxious regarding what it holds and what may be required of me. Hard stop. I remind myself I can't do that, because it's out of my control.

Jealousy. This snuck up on me, because I've never been a jealous person. I think everyone has their own life, each with its struggles and benefits. Besides, let's be honest, my life's been pretty lovely, and I really have no reason to be jealous.

I'm going on a six week trip. Then I'm going to begin a new life that will open so many doors, personally, professionally, and financially. I was talking to my brother, and he mentioned he and his wife were planning a trip to Italy next. And I got jealous. Just for a small second, but I did, because I've always wanted to go Italy, and I've always wanted it to be with someone I loved. That's not okay. I mean - really, Anna? You have literally no right to be jealous of anyone. I shut the voice up, but I'm sorry, Philip. Also, you better be reading my blog, otherwise I'm not sorry.

It's easy to focus on what others have that we don't, even when we have so much. I find having the discipline to not compare myself to others, but rather be content and grateful for everything I have, is a constant exercise, harmful if left neglected.

I recognize I'll work through these thoughts - probably once I don't have so much free time - but I think it's good to acknowledge them before I have completely worked through them, because while my two year time taught me a lot, I still haven't nailed the perfect formula for a flawless transition. I am getting better, though, and I'm sure I'll have another opportunity in the future. Until then, I have to go drop off my cable boxes.

* Which I am partially attributing to the fact that in the past week, I have been to the courtroom twice, graduated, and packed up my life.

** If the life assistant could also be my hypeman/woman, I could kill two birds with one stone.