One Year Down, Two Shares Vested, and Another New Chapter

Happy Monday, my sweet friend. I've been meaning to write for some time now. After all, my year anniversary with Seattle has come and gone, and I need to reflect. How have I tracked against my goals? What have I learned? How have I grown? What's next? There's always a next, but first, here's a recap.

I did lock myself out of the apartment. However, I beat the over under of seven months and made it over a year, which I count as a win. I also managed to keep my high school nickname a secret for over six months, and even now, only three carefully selected individuals know the humiliating story. I'm definitely a connector, and I consistently tell my friends they're in a rough spot if I ever find a significant other to take trips with me.* And OMG - I found friends with boats!! Or at least friends with friends who have boats. Regardless, boats are in my life on a semi-regular cadence.

I fell on my face. Literally. One of my sister's friends recently got married. The two of them worked together prior to dating, and one of their earlier interactions was lip syncing at the holiday party. What a cute story. This year, I too participated in a holiday lip syncing contest, but instead of meeting my soul mate, I did a back flip in a conference room with no gymnastics experience and ended up with a massively bloody nose. The whole scenario seems on brand.

Y'all. I got myself a mentor. Arguably, I got myself three mentors. Not all of them are aware, however. The covert adoption went something like this: "Yes, Anna, you should discuss this with your mentor." "Okay, great, so I'm going to discuss it with you. Thanks."

I climbed a mountain. Of course, in true Anna fashion, I turned to my co-worker the day before I left and said, "Do I really need all the gear on this list?" He took pity on me and let me borrow his gear rather than being taken advantage by REI. When my friends picked me up the next morning, they were surprised I actually came at 5 AM. But I did. We hiked to the base camp of Mt Baker, and I spent the evening watching the sun set above the clouds surrounded by majestic mountain peaks. We woke up at 1 AM, hiked six hours to the summit, and breathed the fresh air of accomplishment. Then we hiked back down to base camp, packed our tents, and returned to civilization, breathing in the occasional stale stench of heated crap, because apparently, you have to go to the bathroom in a bag and bring that bag back down the mountain. I'm all about conserving the environment, but this was an aspect of camping I was not aware of prior to this trip. It was worth it, and the guides awarded me the best mountain sleeper of all time. I snored. I snored a lot.

I popped a cyst. Imagine the worst pimple in high school; multiply it by 1000. The pain, the satisfaction, the projectile puss, the whole thing. I believe it was my body rejecting bras, as the cyst was directly where those pesty wires rest. Of all the liberal tenets, the one I can shamelessly support is no bras, as is evidenced by my high school nick name. Alas, of all the liberal tenets, this could be the last to be implemented.

I got the job. The one that had me in an existential frenzy. I had a meeting with the person who interviewed me at what I thought was my worst. I asked him if it was 4 against 1, and if he had said no. He assured me he hadn't. I was confused. I started last week, exactly one year after I started at Amazon.

I've been on so many trips with friends old and new. I built a church community and a Crossfit community - both of which consistently challenge and push me. I found a manager who wants me to succeed and a team that believes I can.

All that's easy to talk about, because it's funny, or silly, or downright impressive. I mean, heck, I climbed a mountain. In my new role, I'm going to be interfacing with VPs at one of the most powerful companies in the world. But life can still be hard, and there's been plenty of hard. I'm so grateful for the doors that have opened, but a number of doors have closed, too. I still can't seem to get dating down, no matter how I approach it, and I struggle with being a single, successful woman. What is my response when a coworker jokes that my dating life could be more successful if I kept my opinions to myself? I struggle with anxiety. I still don't like change. Yet, I seem to experience a lot of change on my own volition. My heart still aches for my family.

So I'm working through some things. I quit drinking. And by quit, I mean I haven't had a drink yet today. I think this stint will be for a little while, though. At least a week. I'm seeking out a single, female mentor to add to my repertoire. I'm considering therapy, but I am terrible at making appointments, so I give that a 40/60 odds. I'm trying to look to God, rest in Him, and seek His kingdom above all else.

I've been thinking about time, and how God's concept of time is completely different than my own. Hanging by my door is a picture I bought in Thailand. A girl is peering into the distance, a beautiful horizon full of color and unknown promise. I met a man at the airport recently. He's moving his wife and two kids, ages 11 and 12, to France to be a wine maker at Chateau Margaeux. His flight was in three days, they had sold everything, and he was anxiously awaiting his visa from the Counselate. In those hard moments, when I question God, when I yell at Him, when I cry to Him, I remind myself that life is this beautiful tapestry of grace woven by the most caring, intricate artist, and time will only tell how He paints that mysterious horizon.



*Though let's be honest, I'd probably get bored with only one other person.