Happy 34th Birthday, Bro!

Hey Big Brother, I just realized how 1984-ish that sounds. A Freudian slip that represents the time, perhaps? Hard to believe it's already been a year. I only wrote one blog post since your last birthday, but I've written a happy birthday post to you for nine years, and I can't simply neglect this ritual now. I wish I could say the world has gotten more sane since last we spoke, but I find it hard to convince myself of that. People are wearing two masks in the gym. A pastor in Canada is in prison for hosting church. Dr. Seuss books have been cancelled. I just attended a Zoom funeral. I think the most bizarre thing about the past year has been the general sentiment that we can put life on pause. But God doesn't pause. He rests, yes, but He doesn't pause. He is always working, and I have seen that so clearly this past year.

A year ago, before the craziness of the pandemic, I looked at my life and said, God, I need change. It wasn't that my life wasn't lovely. It was. I was surrounded with great friends, had a job at a company that is taking over the world, lived in a beautiful one bedroom apartment in the city with an epic view of the mountains, belonged to a church community. At the same time, most of my friends didn't have the same value system, my church community leaned liberal, my job was stressful, and when I walked out of my apartment, I felt the heaviness of a city experiencing brokenness. I deeply cherished the year and a half I had been in Seattle, but I knew if I was going to stay, things needed to change. So I started to pray: for a new job, conservative Christian friends, and a new place to live.

And then the craziness of the pandemic. A year ago today, we were told to begin working from home after one person in an adjacent building tested positive for COVID. It had made it over the pond. Incidentally, it took a full year of work from home to finally get two monitors and a full set up. Now, I do not plan on ever going back to the office. The past year has been hard for so many people for so many reasons, including me at times. I've cried, gotten angry, made mistakes, hurt people, had to navigate friendships, questioned the future. Not that that’s that different from any other year I suppose. And of course, through this, I've reminded myself how extremely blessed I am to have a job, a healthy family, and ways to cope with loneliness and isolation. The one thing that has been affirmed repeatedly over the past year, though, is this: God is faithful to those who follow Him. And I’ll be honest, Stephen, it just astounds me. Because while 2020 was so unique, in many ways, it was the most special and sweetest year.

Right before the inevitable lockdown hit, I flew back to Cleveland. Talk about privileged. I'm so privileged to have two parents who, when I was struggling alone in Seattle, said without hesitation, Anna, come stay with us. We would love to have you. There were so many precious memories in that two months at home. Chatting with Mom and Dad over a home cooked meal, Easter with my nieces and nephews, weekend nights with my sister and brother-in-law, hours of Pandemic with Phil and Courtny, seeing Lydia and her sweet kiddos, spending hours on my cousins' couch. Discussing the insanity that was happening. Turns out, my parents did a very fine job in indoctrinating all of us to live with a similar worldview: extreme skepticism of power, unless it is the power of the almighty God. My family has had many disagreements in the past, but on this, we agree wholeheartedly.

I returned to Seattle, but I knew I needed to escape the bubble to maintain sanity. I spent a month in Montana. Stephen, the world is so beautiful, and our country is magnificent. I met a store owner who had moved back to the small town to open a cute shop that highlighted products from women. I went to an event she had with an entrepenuer showcasing her facial care. I chatted with the older women, caught up on town gossip (practically a local, and apparently the landowner was a real jerk), met Tom Brokaw's wife, as well as a member of the Cowgirl Hall of Fame. I spent evenings at the saloon on a dirt road, with a sign that said f* your feelings and cowboys coming and going. We went to Yellowstone, the Grand Tetones, Mt Rushmore. We stopped at this cute little mining town called Deadwood that made you feel like you were whisked away to a Disney World type 1800s theme park, complete with the bar where Cowboy Bill was shot because of a winning poker hand. Lesson learned: don't sit with your back to the door.

I spent a month in Idaho. I went to an outdoor concert, and after 15 minutes of sitting by myself, a woman asked if I wanted a long island iced tea. My general rule is: if someone suggests a LIIT, they are a hoot, and you should accept. And so I did. I learned about her military career, spending her stimulus check to buy five guns, and her refusal to send her kids to public school. I visited Glacier National Park, and decided that, yes, I was going to buy a home near there. Perhaps a good home for my wine bar, Valentine Pour.

I spent a month on a 40-acre ranch in Southwest Colorado where you had to drive 45 minutes for reception. I didn't meet anyone there, but thankfully, Phil and Courtny came to keep me company. We laughed so much, paid minimal attention to the election, visited four National Parks, gazed at the beautiful stars in the silence of the country, made a bomb lip sync video, and watched the Browns win a game. Stephen, the Browns were decent this year. Absolutely crazy.

Somewhere in all of this, God also brought a man into my life. He's so wonderful. His name is Vance (Vaghnce is you want to be pretentious). He likes sports, loves God, and really loves me. He can handle my rants, which is very important to the health of a relationship with me. And he laughs at my jokes and is almost as weird as I am. Plus, he came home for Christmas and he loves our family. He wants to move to Ohio. I never thought I'd meet a man who wanted to move to Ohio - especially one from Hawaii. To be honest, I didn't really know if I'd meet a man to love. I'll tell you more about him soon, and I'll bring him to say hi to you, but I'm super excited for what God has for us.

I didn't even pray for any of that (though I guess I'm always praying for a loving man), but as Ephesians 3:20 says, "God will do abundantly more than we ask or think." As for my prayers, he answered them so beautifully. First, Vance had started going to this new church whose values align with those of my home church. Going to church in person, worshipping in a spirit filled room, and being fed the word has been so life giving and encouraging. In November, I was rejected for an internal position, and though I submitted an application for a townhouse, someone had beat me to it. Frustrated, I messaged the pastor's wife, Emma, and asked for prayer for a housing situation. God closes doors and opens doors, and as I believed he would, he gave me a new job at Amazon before the end of 2020. He waited until the last day, but he gave it to me. Beyond that, someone in our church was remodeling the first floor of their new home, and they wanted to rent it to someone in the church.

So here I am, Stephen. Vance is napping in the other room, and while we have our hurdles as all couples do, I love growing closer to him in our walk with God. I'm living with a Christian roommate in a home owned by Christians. The neighborhood is peaceful, and I thoroughly enjoy my walks with the woman who owns the house, gawking at the beautiful properties and chatting about everything from church to family to politics. I have so many conservative leaning Christian connections, it's hard to count. Who knew they existed in Seattle. I've started going to two Bible studies, both which have been instructive and challenging. My new job is drastically different than the last, and I find myself having to get used to the lack of stress thus far.

Dad always told me growing up, "Anna, the middle ground is disappearing." I called him at one point this summer and said, "Dad, you were right about everything." Stephen, I'm super curious to see what God is doing right now. Unfortunately, I'm not privy to that blueprint. Perhaps you could give me some intel. I do think the middle ground is disappearing. But if the middle ground requires me to neglect the Truth of the Gospel and God's Word, then I want no part of it. Because the only answer to so many of the questions from the past year are God. The only answer to brokenness, sin, pain, hate, division, hurt is God, and the love that led Him to send His Son to die for our sins. And the question becomes, where do we put our hope? Do we put it in scientists, experts, our health, government, circumstances, people? No. Those will all fail us. There is only one who doesn't fail. Who continues working when the world says to pause or when the Devil thinks he’s won. I'm so grateful he has shown Himself strong this past year, and as Samuel said at the rock of Ebenezer, "thus far, He has been faithful."

I miss you, Stephen. What a good reminder your life is that, “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” I am forever grateful for your sacrifice. And I can't wait to see you again.