Oooo my favorite tradition. I'm so happy to revisit you. I just got off the phone with one of my good friends from Charlottesville, and with that, I will start with thought one
1) I'm so grateful for Charlottesville. What a random place for a college grad from Ohio to land, but the people there have had such a wonderful impact on my life. I've been reconnecting with them lately, and it's such a nice reminder that though time and place can separate you, that connection remains.
2) I'm so grateful for Seattle. On Sunday, I had a lovely dinner with friends from Michigan. Even though I told myself going into grad school, I wasn't going to land on the West Coast, of all the places to be, I'm surrounded by so many good people who know and care about me.
3) While we're on the topic of things I'm grateful for - I'll never stop being grateful for my family. They're amazing. I loved getting birthday messages from my nieces and nephews, and I love that I talk my dad every day before work, and I love that I miss them so much, because that's a sign of something special.
4) The DMV. Let's talk about the DMV. Because I went there Saturday, and man, there are so many things that can be done to improve it. Personally, I think our political system is focused on the entirely wrong objectives. They should be focused on making every day experiences like the DMV ones that don't make you want to punch a wall.
5) Here's my proposal. Paint the walls. Add a Starbucks. Give customers one of those vibrating gadgets like restaurants do. And open a bar next to the DMV with a cool play on the acronym - drinking more vodka is what Lauren and I concocted, but I'm open to different ideas.
6) On the bright side, there was a Marshall's, and I bought myself two pairs of boots while waiting.
7) I'm listening to Shovels and Rope right now, and one of my favorite memories will be walking up the hill of the Gorge and reaching the cusp as they broke down Birmingham. There are few moments that are absolutely breathtaking, but that was one of them.
8) When I say breathtaking, I think of Seinfeld. If you don't get the reference, you should watch more Seinfeld.
9) Guys, I've reached a new decade of my life.
10) Not to be too reflective, but it's always interesting to think about your life ten years ago.
11) I guarantee you, I didn't see myself here ten years ago. I saw myself married in Ohio, because that's what so many people in my life did. And I respect them all very much and think their life is so special and meaningful.
12) Yet, I'm really glad I'm here. And as much as I bemoan it from time to time, I'm really glad I've been single, because I've taken these chances and built these relationships that I may not have otherwise.
13) I am overwhelmed by the caliber of people in my life, and I know I don't deserve it. They're people who have pushed me, who have encouraged me, who have comforted and loved me - who have reminded me of my worth when I've forgotten it.
14) People talk about the Seattle freeze, but I don't believe it. I think the world gives you what you feed it, and I think if you give unwavering goodness, that's what you receive.
15) Can we take a moment to reflect on the Browns victory? We won a game!!! Pretty sure Mayfield is the next JC incarnate. JK, don't think I'm blasphemous.
Here are some learnings from my twenties:
16) Don't be afraid to be loud. Don't be afraid to be smart. Don't be afraid to laugh. The people you attract will appreciate that. And the people who don't probably aren't worth your time.
17) Wine is super tasty.
18) If it's not him, it's something else, and that something else is much better.
19) Be honest with yourself and everyone around you. Always.
Things I hope to learn in my thirties:
20) How to make a dentist experience enjoyable
21) How to blow up balloons, because this is a weakness
22) How to efficiently capitalize on corporate benefits, because this is also a weakness
23) Truth is, I was anxious leading up to my 30th birthday.
24) I think it's because I started this new job in a new city and didn't feel myself.
25) Then I realized, I've done this before, I'll do it again, and every time, I'm capable.
26) You always grow the most when you're uncomfortable. The year of 29 was really uncomfortable, on so many levels - personal, professional.
27) I cried a lot. I questioned a lot of things I never I thought I would question. I worked through insecurities I thought I had already overcome. And, as always, I grew stronger.
28) There's this moment at every show like the one I went to at the Gorge - maybe EDM shows have this, too, but I don't know. This moment when you're dancing your heart out to this band who's playing their heart out, and you think, "man, life is this amazing picture and it's so exciting that I have no idea what's going to happen next."
29) Guys, I have no idea what's going to happen next.
30) But I'm super excited about it.
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Saturday, September 8, 2018
The Plight of an Extrovert
Don't worry all you sensitive introverts* out there, I'm not saying my life is harder because I'm an extrovert. In fact, I don't really love the delineation to begin with and generally question the value of personality tests. A topic for another time. I did, however, like the distinction I heard one time: extroverts use other people to recharge and reenergize, whereas introverts reenergize by being alone. Anyone who has known me for more than ten minutes knows I'm an extrovert. I would like to take a moment to clarify that getting your energy from other people does not mean you love being in a crowded room with strangers. It means when I want to wind down and decompress and get ready for the next day, I want to do it with someone else I know well and who knows me well.
My cooking schedule's been super off since starting work. I can't seem to get in a routine, so I tried HelloFresh. I'm only a week in, but I have to say, I like it so far. They take care of the ingredients, I take care of the cooking, and because I'm only cooking for myself, I have some leftovers for lunch. The recipes aren't too fancy, but they're tasty. I put on a playlist I haven't listened to in ages, and Boys of Fall came on. Four years ago, I wrote this blog post about the Boys of Fall. I had just moved into a new apartment in Charlottesville, was in the middle of a job transition, and was sitting at my kitchen table, enjoying the fall breeze and view of the mountains.
Here I am, in a new apartment, in the middle of a job transition, sitting at my kitchen table, enjoying the fall breeze and view of the mountains. This isn't about the Boys of Fall, though if you have ever watched Friday Night Lights and want the inside scoop, I suggest you read the post. This is about finding yourself in transition once again and remembering who you are in that. No matter how many times I do it - and I've done it a number of times - I forget how hard it is. You can do all you can to prepare, you can know this is where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to be doing, and yet, when you get there, you fight the same battles you've fought before. Those battles are different for everyone, but for me, they've been pretty consistent: loneliness, uncertainty, the struggle to balance every aspect of my life, to not push myself too hard, patience with myself in figuring out a new job and a new city, embracing the waiting for the pieces of life to fall into place. Above all, trusting that they will.
And while you have people you know support you, in my case and in many others, you don't have your person. That person who's in your corner. Who knows you intimately. Who tells you you're a badass when you feel differently. Who pushes you, who encourages you, who builds you up and who calls you out when you need it. Who works hard at the relationship because they recognize it's worth it. Who makes you feel home when so much around is foreign. This isn't about that person. This is about remembering that I have been that for myself, and that I can be that for myself now and in the future.
I stayed in tonight for the first Friday in a very long time. I worked out, cooked, listened to music, drank wine, and wrote - my favorite things. I remembered I could recharge on my own, as well. And don't worry - tomorrow I have arranged a party bus for 35 people to visit Washington wine country, so my extravert will be more than satiated.
*not saying all introverts are sensitive, so don't be offended by that either.
My cooking schedule's been super off since starting work. I can't seem to get in a routine, so I tried HelloFresh. I'm only a week in, but I have to say, I like it so far. They take care of the ingredients, I take care of the cooking, and because I'm only cooking for myself, I have some leftovers for lunch. The recipes aren't too fancy, but they're tasty. I put on a playlist I haven't listened to in ages, and Boys of Fall came on. Four years ago, I wrote this blog post about the Boys of Fall. I had just moved into a new apartment in Charlottesville, was in the middle of a job transition, and was sitting at my kitchen table, enjoying the fall breeze and view of the mountains.
Here I am, in a new apartment, in the middle of a job transition, sitting at my kitchen table, enjoying the fall breeze and view of the mountains. This isn't about the Boys of Fall, though if you have ever watched Friday Night Lights and want the inside scoop, I suggest you read the post. This is about finding yourself in transition once again and remembering who you are in that. No matter how many times I do it - and I've done it a number of times - I forget how hard it is. You can do all you can to prepare, you can know this is where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to be doing, and yet, when you get there, you fight the same battles you've fought before. Those battles are different for everyone, but for me, they've been pretty consistent: loneliness, uncertainty, the struggle to balance every aspect of my life, to not push myself too hard, patience with myself in figuring out a new job and a new city, embracing the waiting for the pieces of life to fall into place. Above all, trusting that they will.
And while you have people you know support you, in my case and in many others, you don't have your person. That person who's in your corner. Who knows you intimately. Who tells you you're a badass when you feel differently. Who pushes you, who encourages you, who builds you up and who calls you out when you need it. Who works hard at the relationship because they recognize it's worth it. Who makes you feel home when so much around is foreign. This isn't about that person. This is about remembering that I have been that for myself, and that I can be that for myself now and in the future.
I stayed in tonight for the first Friday in a very long time. I worked out, cooked, listened to music, drank wine, and wrote - my favorite things. I remembered I could recharge on my own, as well. And don't worry - tomorrow I have arranged a party bus for 35 people to visit Washington wine country, so my extravert will be more than satiated.
*not saying all introverts are sensitive, so don't be offended by that either.
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