Fall B Beginnings

I come to you from the Storyville coffee shop this morning. I’m sitting on a corner couch, Ray LaMontagne playing in the background as I sip my pike roast coffee and eat my overpriced granola. I’m so Seattle right now. I would take a picture, but my phone has decided to stop functioning as a camera, perhaps in rebellion to the fact that I’m refusing to fix the cracked screen. It costs $100, which seems like an unnecessary use of funds.

Speaking of exorbitant fixes, I took Maleek to the shop the other day, because I’m a responsible adult who got tired of filling her tires with air every other week. Among the recommended adjustments were: a muffler clamp for $3, brake pads for $200, a new exhaust manifold for $185, a new exhaust resonator for $151 - what's the difference between a manifold and resonator?, brake pads for $250 – that’s right, brake pads were on there twice - an exact fit battery for $170 - as opposed to the current one that isn’t the perfect fit. What is this? Goldielocks? The list went on, totaling $3700 to which I said, “I may know nothing about cars, but my fancy MBA education tells me that I should not put $3700 into a car that is worth $2500 according to Kelly Blue Book.” I did pay to fix the corrosion in my tires so air is no longer seeping out. I fear my time with Maleek may be nearing its natural conclusion. Ownership is a nuisance, so I think the move to a city comes at a good time.

I haven’t addressed the heavily scratched glasses yet, but I did realize I could use the UM hospital system for a free eye exam. I went there for a checkup the other day, and fret not everyone, I’m healthy as a clam. I have shrunk half an inch, though, and I am only 5' 3¼''. I deliberately turned around when they weighed me, but this tactic proved moot because they gave me a summary sheet at the end. Before I knew what it was, I saw my weight: 129. Not too bad. I like being below 130. And I had clothes on, so that adds a pound. And I had just eaten lunch, so that adds another pound. And I hadn’t gone to the bathroom that day and had drunk my usual three liters of water, so that’s another half pound. So really, we’re looking at a morning weight of 126.5 – 127. Man, I’m sexy.

But I haven’t been working out intensely lately, so maybe that’s a soft 127. And I’m going out of town this weekend so I’ll probably eat a couple pounds. And I shrunk so my pound/inch has increased. Bahh, I’m such a fat lard… And this is why I deliberately turn around when being weighed.

Now that my quarter from hell has passed, I find myself twiddling my thumbs, wondering what I should be doing with my time. Take up gambling? Learn to golf? Learn to code? Work part time at Ross to ensure doors stop breaking(1)? Sugga Momma Bears has bounced back the past few weeks and is creeping up the ranks to hopefully secure a playoff berth. With them under control, I'm in need of a project, so I think I’m going to get a dog. I know what you're thinking - Anna, you packed two different black boots and spent half the day with your turtleneck on backwards. How do you expect to raise a dog? Thank you for your concern, but I'm not going to be dressing the dog. I just have to keep it alive, and I've managed to keep myself alive for twenty-nine years, which is a pretty solid track record. Plus, I’ve been craving some unconditional love lately, and since my pursuit of human affections is on a semi-permanent hold, this seems like a good solution. Truth is, I've been a bit lonely lately. You know how it comes in ebs and flows. The nice thing is that the more times you go through the ebs and flows, the better you get at them. I'll keep you updated. I want to name the dog Dorito and call it Rito for short, because my Rottweiler, Missy, loved Doritos.

I'm now drinking a glass of wine, finishing the post from home. My stomach feels all funky after the flight. Otherwise, Seattle was lovely. Amazon seems like all it's cracked up to be, the neighborhoods were quite cute, I watched football from bed at 9 AM. I ate so much good seafood, and perhaps I put on a pound or two. I don't know. I'm not going to weigh myself.


(1) I don't understand why doors break all the time. All they have to do is open.