My Brunch Alone

Last Sunday, I went to brunch by myself. Brunch was such a ritual in Charlottesville. Sunday wasn't a day to work. It was a day to go to brunch, hit up a winery or two, take a nap, and then wake up ready to conquer the week, but somehow, I haven't found a brunch crew in Seattle yet. People run errands, watch Netflix all day, or do work. Weird - although I do get the Netflix. It will happen - I hope - but until then, I love going by myself, because there is no mood a mimosa, breakfast tacos, oldies, and people watching can't improve.

The bar at my favorite spot was full. Last time I had brunch, I sat next to two industry folks and had a great conversation about katen, or some supplement that acts as an upper in small doses but depressant comparable to heroine in large doses. Perhaps I should do errands, but I decided to wait. It only took a couple minutes, and I sat next to a woman who was also alone. She was returning from a women's conference in Houston and was about to begin a new role at Microsoft.

I asked about her transition. She talked about her new boss - how much she wanted to learn from her, how she inspired her. She talked about her old boss. She had heard she was aggressive, and she wondered if it was just because she was a woman, but after working for her, she realized the perception wasn't simply because she was a woman. She learned a lot, but she also learned what she didn't want to be as a leader.

I asked about her career, and she spoke about her experience in Africa. How going to another culture can make you learn so much more about your own, in all its strengths and weaknesses. The people in Africa, even with so little, were so happy because they were together, and because they had community. I always relate to that, because no matter how far I am from home, I think about the happiness of Grandma, who, not having much, has so much love for and from her family. I've never been driven by money or success - I've been driven by wanting to be the best version of myself and getting to a position I can give the most that I am able. That's taken me further from home than I would have liked, but I still carry those roots with me, and I'm so grateful I have them. America's amazing, but I think it's easy to get lost in the race and forget about those who have been with you from the beginning, or even not have people with you from the beginning, which is unfortunate.

I asked about her family on the east coast and if she missed them. She did, and she said if she didn't find someone here in the next couple years, she would move back, because there comes a point when you just have to decide to be close to family. I'm not at that point in my life, yet, but I understand that, too.

I asked about diversity. I loved how she spoke about it, because so often, you get a canned response that goes something like this: "We really want to emphasize not only diversity, but also inclusion. We want more women, more under-represented minorities, more members of the LBGTQ community." But the way she talked about it was so much more real and impactful. She said - and I'm paraphrasing, and probably inadvertantly inserting a bit of my own opinion - that's an easy place to start because it's obvious, but diversity is so much more. We want blue collar, and white collar, we want diversity of thought. Because you don't speak for every white, Christian female, and I don't speak for every black female, and if we simply leave it at that, we're selling ourselves short. She said they hadn't figured out, but they were working on it.

I asked about dating in Seattle. She laughed and said it's terrible. She talked about her date with a man who had a foot fettish. Or the one who had no drive to be anything beyond what he currently was. She told me it was going to be particularly hard if I wanted to find a fellow Christian. I chuckled.

I asked about work life balance, and if people, especially women, found it difficult to move up in the company once they had children. That answer was a little harder to interpret, but I believe the essence of her answer was that if they wanted to move up, they weren't inhibited.

Earlier that day, I had gone to church. I'm a greeter, because I figure it's a good way to keep me accountable and potentially meet some people. The ice breaker that was asked was what are we passionate about. I thought about it until it was my turn, and my answer was, I'm passionate about people. All of them. Because people are so interesting and so insightful in different ways.

I don't like consuming a lot of media. I think it's often hopeless and focused on the negative, because that's sensational. But I love going to brunch, because of all the times I've gone to brunch alone, I haven't met one person who has left me hopeless. Instead, the fascinating people, those I will likely never see again, give me hope that people care about something. That they sincerely desire to improve the state of those aspects they can impact. That drives me to try the same.