2016 Winners and Losers. 2017 Goals. World Domination, Always.

Alright, guys, the countdown to world takeover by age 30 is ticking.

I'm supposed to be writing an essay for an application. The theme: resilience. You know what I'm going to use? A tennis analogy. Surprising, I know. In order to get my creative juices flowing, I thought it wise to partake in my annual reflection and goal setting ritual. In addition to a brief assessment of 2016 goal accomplishment - I found the sweet spot and got very close to getting a drink named after me - this year's reflection takes the form of post-weekend football analysis, with winners and losers. Appropriately, we will begin with fantasy.

Winner. Steel the Win and Sugga Momma Bears. In a demonstration of dominance, Steel the Win took the victory in league one. Thank you, Le'Veon Bell and David Johnson. Unfortunately, the cardiac kids, Sugga Momma Bears, fell in the championship, a defeat that would have been more palatable if the winning lineup had not been sitting on my bench. Still, considering I had the 11th lowest number of overall points in the regular season, second place is a victory.

Loser. Fantasy football team names. My pun game is weak. I plan on spending the offseason considering alternative names, which will inevitably lead to me figuring out how I can cleverly combine Ezekiel and some obscure part of the male anatomy.

Winner. My laugh. I was nominated for best laugh in high school, but alas, I lost to Alison Piccioni. I don't think I laughed to the extent I do now in high school, as much of my time was spent sleeping during class. This year, however, I received my section superlative award for best laugh. Is this the greatest accomplishment of my MBA career thus far? I'm not saying it's not.

Loser. There are no losers when I laugh, unless you're a dog that detects high pitch frequency. Then, it might hurt your ears.

Winner. My ability to differentiate between Coors Light, Miller Light, and Bud Light. I think it's improved.

Loser. My self-respect. Why am I 28 and drinking light beer? Apparently, when in grad school, ones' tastes revert to age 21. Sometimes, so do one's dance moves.

Winner. My funeral. I recently listened to a podcast about "the town that talks about death." The gist of it was: an end of life caregiver started broaching the subject of death with patients long before the threat was imminent so when the time did come, families knew what the individual wanted, subsequently lowering healthcare costs and improving end of life quality. The town took a sensitive subject and made it commonplace. Very interesting. Anyways, it got me thinking about my funeral, and I have a few requests: a slideshow of dome selfies, which I imagine at that time will be plentiful; no need to wear black, people should wear color, but by no means does this excuse anyone from crying. Brownie sundae bar at the post-lunch. Also, if people would like to have a competition of who can share the most embarrassing Anna story at the post-lunch, the winner could receive an Anna bobblehead.

Loser. My wedding. Haven't made much progress on that front, although I have started answering creatively when old family friends ask if I'm married yet. "No, but I'm getting my business degree so I can get rich and buy myself a husband..." Awkward pause.

Winner. My apartment. Possibly my best decision of 2016 was getting an apartment fifty feet from the business school. Was I a bit skeptical when I awoke the first Saturday at 6 am to undergrads pre-gaming? Yes. However, now that it is a balmy 5 degrees outside, I am grateful for the proximity.

Loser. My mail. I've had this issue with my mail where nothing that is sent to me arrives. You have one job, postal service. Wedding invitations, birthday cards, Christmas cards, checks. Not receiving them. The obvious answer is that I am giving the wrong address, but I am receiving packages, so that's not the case. I asked my landlord about this, and he told me, yes, it's an ongoing problem, and I need to talk to the postal service, which I have yet to do, because I fear they will be of little help. A possible thought is that I need to start telling people the end of my zip code, because all the junk mail I receive has 48104-3554 on it. Are those last four digits important?

Winner. The Cavs. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but they are the reigning NBA champions.

Loser. The Browns. It's a building year. Also... Golden State. Since I called out Golden State, I feel obligated to acknowledge that the Indians gave up a 3-1 lead to the Cubbies, although they did so without their best player and best pitchers, so the loss was not quite as humiliating.

Winner. My driving record. I received zero moving violations and zero parking tickets in 2016. I believe this is a first. It's likely because I was out of the country for about five months.

Loser. My sense of direction. Technology is great, but I had to enter Trader Joe's into my phone the first three months in Ann Arbor, and I still am not sure how to get from the east side to the west side of the city. Or if there even is an East side.

Winner. My thighs. I say this because twice in the last week I have been asked what sport I played that made my legs so strong. I responded, "I was born with these beauties."* The Navatsyk thighs, finally getting the recognition they deserve.

Loser. Errands. While I have no problem prioritizing working out, it took me three months to register my car in Michigan, two months to return text books, and four months to return some WiFi device to Comcast. When I finally focused on each of these tasks, I completed each in thirty minutes. Why are errands so hard? And why do I still not have a life secretary? And why hasn't Amazon created a drone secretary to run these errands for me?

Winner. Ann Arbor. I moved here.

Loser. Charlottesville. I left there.

Alright - to resolutions. I was listening to Tim Ferriss the other day, an inspirational Podcaster whose yoga obsession I take with a grain of salt, as I do all yoga obsessions, and he suggested looking at what you could 10x. A very obvious answer to this is my blog readership, so if everyone reading this could simply click on the links to my posts 10 times instead of 1 (or 100 times instead of 10 if you're creepily already reading my posts 10 times to memorize them), I can hit that goal. Thank you in advance. Momentary shoutout for this blog: I hit a record number of posts last year with 27. Also, someone told me it was hilarious and inspirational which was in the running for the greatest compliment received in 2016.* I should have a Podcast.

Speaking of which, while my goal is not to have a Podcast, I am breaking tradition by stating a real, tangible goal: to build a business plan. I'm not going to pressure myself to start said business, but I will do the work prior to launching. Or at least read a book about building a business. I may start a blog segment called Anna Builds a Business. And not to give away any spoilers, but the sole product may be an Anna bobblehead with an obviously huge dome that laughs when you walk past it. Coming to your office workspace, 2018.

* Also, I played tennis.
* Next to, of course, the comparison between Elle Woods and me

For inquiring minds:

2015 Goals
2014 Goals