I then indulged in a moment of self pity, lamenting the month of January which has been the honeydew of my year, mainly because I have spent most of it creating and re-creating annual reports a midst the usual workload. Naturally, I intermittently extended this metaphor to encapsulate the entire year. And here I am.
Before I begin presenting each month and its corresponding fruit, it is critical to understand that location does have a sizable impact on perspective. April, for example, has been my honeydew for years; the moment you cautiously believe winter is at its end, Chardon gets a four foot sleet storm on April 26. In Charlottesville, this is not so, rendering April a bit more tasty.
Honeydew - January, obviously. It is dark, cold, and I am skidding down a sharp descent from holiday highs, realizing those Christmas ales and cookies did, in fact, go to my hips. I think I can take a deep breath since Q4 has ended, but then clients want to know how they performed in Q4, rendering my workload doubled. The national championship is a slightly redeeming factor, but since college football refuses to instill a playoff system, these have been anti-climactic as of late. College basketball is not yet in the prime of its season, and while NFL playoffs are entertaining, there is always a tinge of remorse that the Browns fell short yet again. The only juice in this month is that men stroll the streets donning pea coats, scarves and beanies*. Fine, you can stay.
Cantaloupe - How did you weasel your way into the salad? Consistent with my thoughts on January are my thoughts on February. It is still cold and still dark. The year end reports are not completed, and deadlines are steadily creeping. Sports are still pretty uneventful, although there is the occasional top ten match up. I have not celebrated Valentine's Day since 2005, so the idea of chocolate, flowers, or a fine meal do not brighten my spirits any more than they do on a normal day. Since you are so short, you are a bit more tolerable than January, but overall, the salad would not miss you.
Blueberries - The hidden gem within the salad. March, though not a boisterous part of the year, adds much flavor in small doses. St. Patrick's Day. Although I did not fully appreciate its implications until attending an Irish Catholic university, I now eagerly embrace the holiday. Spring arrives March 20 and warm days are speckled throughout the month, foreshadowing weather to come. Most importantly, it is March Madness. Ten days of unadulterated passion and competition interspersed throughout the month adding a pop of flavor to the year.
Grapes - Affordable, simple, tasty. April is not a flashy month. There are no guaranteed vacation days, and it is not reliably warm or sunny. Yet, the tastes of spring are palpable. Blossoming flowers and the gracious spirit of Easter signify new beginnings. It is not quite the sweetness of a berry, but has much more flavor than melon, making it a lovely accoutrement.
Pineapple - The most refreshing accessory of the salad. May is a lovely transition between spring and summer. We have not yet reached the sweltering heat, but the chilly rainy days are far behind. After months without a government holiday, we take a day to memorialize those who have served - and cook burgers and drink beer. It is the beginning of summer concerts - and the marathon of NBA playoffs*.
Blackberries - Delicious, but get stuck in your teeth. One is capitalizing upon the long days and warm nights throughout June. It seems harmless to indulge in late night patio libations or midweek concerts. With that pleasure comes the risk of those nights getting stuck in your teeth, lingering as you struggle to recover from physical and mental exhaustion.
Pear - When ripe, the juiciest of the fruits. July has a lot of potential, which it may or may not fulfill. The month can be very disappointing should the heat be too sweltering. It is also an ideal time for trips to the beach, exotic vacations and backyard BBQs. If you cut the month of July correctly, it will be quite satisfying.
Kiwi - When I was younger, my mother would cut kiwis in half, the skin acting as a small bowl. August, I would be okay if you were cut in half. I no longer relish the dogged days and am tired of wearing only tank tops as these do not offer much wardrobe versatility. The long days and longer nights are beginning to wear on me, and the sports world is fairly inactive, save a PGA golf tournament, preseason football, and the never ending baseball season. Also, I am running out of fruits and this one needs to be used.
Watermelon - An essential element of a fruit salad; arguably, it's foundation. September has always been the foundation of my year - after all, it is the month marking my birth. Crisp winds and changing seasons offer fresh outlooks on the year. Sounds of collegiate bands fill sports bars, pumpkin lattes and muffins become a staple at coffee shops, and I am able to once again utilize different styles, be it loose layers or form fitting jeans complimented by boots. I could eat September all day and never tire of it.
Apple - In a bowl of soft, juicy textures, these add a welcome crunch. First, October is a prime month for apple picking, so the association is natural. It also harkens thoughts of hikes through crunching leaves and the great array of colors both above and below. As all colors of apples are delicious, so a clear and overcast day can be equally enjoyable.
Bananas - Help balance the flavor. November is a very cozy month and one of my favorites. It is not overtly sweet, but Thanksgiving certainly adds the perfect hint of sugar. I am not compelled to go out every night and am satisfied cuddling with a blanket, watching college football as cold winds bellow outside. Bananas are the one fruit that can be tasty rotten or ripe; similarly, I do not mind terrible weather in November, as I have not yet grown tired of the shorter days and nippy nights.
Strawberries - The most decadent in flavor. December is decidedly the richest month. Swanky holiday parties, glitz and glam, luxurious meals and desserts, hemorrhaging money for siblings' gifts. It is certainly delicious, but one is glad there are other flavors to balance the extravagance of the season.
This post stretched my creativity as I went through the months. January was such an obvious honeydew, but the others were not so apparent. Hopefully my office does not start doing lunch, because then I will have to compare the days of the week to sandwich elements. Wednesday would be lettuce...
*I did not need to use both terms, but I cannot turn down an opportunity to incorporate corporate jargon.
*I point out that his wife cooked to defend the fact that I have yet to bring in breakfast. If I had a wife cooking for me, I would be more than happy to provide breakfast every week. Heck, I would do it twice a week.
*Obviously the beanie is not always worn in congruence with the pea coat and scarf. Sometimes, a beanie is better suited for a hooded sweatshirt. Sophisticated, educated adult vs snugly, burly athlete.
*But seriously, Noah took less time to build an ark.
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