Wednesday, August 20, 2014

To Jules and Jerms - Congrats!

My least favorite part of having three older sisters is the four mothers during adolescent years. My favorite part of having three older sisters is after getting over myself and realizing they are right 96.3% of the time, I have four role models.

I look up to each of them for different reasons, but since my life situation is most similar to Julie's, I have looked to her especially in navigating (or not navigating) the ubiquitous world of dating.

Being single is difficult sometimes.* Aside from a natural desire for the intimacy and support found with another, one has to deal with single members of the opposite sex. There is also the occasional ignoramus* who asks, "Why is a sweet, smart girl like you still single?" as if being with someone validates you and a decent looking, well-adjusted woman should surely be in a relationship at this point. I think the question is supposed to be flattering, but a word to everyone - it is not. Really? How am I supposed to respond to that?

When I am particularly craving a relationship similar to the marriages of Gail and Lydia, I think about Julie. I go back to a conversation we had in which she openly discussed a difficult breakup she had been through in her early twenties. Those around her told her that someone better would come along, and at a certain point, in something close to her words, "she had to let that idea go and embrace that someone may or may not come. And she would be happy either way."

It is very easy to stake a portion of your self worth in relationships. Julie did not. She used that time to travel and develop her career. She cultivated so many close friendships, evidenced by the nearly 450 likes on the engagement announcement, an unheard of number outside the world of celebrities. She started life in a new country, maintaining her values through hardships. And years later, in a manner she likely would not have outlined, someone did come along.


I am thrilled for Julie and Jeromy. To Jeromy, you are a wonderful man and bring a lot to the veritable Thanksgiving feast that is the Navatsyk table. Welcome. To Julie, I am glad there is a man in your life to share in your laughter and love. Though I do not always acknowledge it and at times resist it, your consistent encouragement and guidance have helped me define myself. Thank you for setting such a strong example for your little sis.


*I recognize being in a relationship is also difficult sometimes. And other times, they are both easy. For instance, it is super easy to book myself vacations on a whim when single.

*Perhaps ignoramus is a bit harsh, but I really do not like the question.